watching you from across the room

Lately my dreams have been a place of absolute terror and joy, at the very same time. How is it that I can be praising God for such a vision, yet at the same time silently begging them to go away. It's like being caught somewhere between perfect joy and mere pleasure. I got a fortune cookie yesterday. I broke the cookie and ate the whole thing before reading it [typical]. It said, "You will get what your heart desires."

NO! My heart is a place torn open and ripped apart, stolen and grasping for just one thing that is real. My heart doesn't know truth. My heart isn't right. If I get what my heart truly desires, I'll really only be a shell of what I was created to be.

I want Your Heart.
I want Your will.
I want You to be dictating every single movement of every single day.
I want You.


I'm terrified that I'll go and ruin everything.

My mind is a place that can never be navigated, or tamed. My doubtful nature makes it ironic that I married a "Thomas".
Can it really get any more real?

These are just small trinkets representing how I feel, right now.

I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back
-Brand New

She looks pretty
Hair glittering with confetti
How does it feel man
Hold steady
Is she ready
Does she like it dancing on the broken glass
Watching you from across the room
One hand on the waist while the other, knuckles turning white
Are you holding on for dear life or does she not know how to let go
-Blindside

For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-control.
-2 Timothy 1:7

Eerie whispers
trapped beneath my pillow
won't let me sleep
your memories

and I know you're in this room
I'm sure I heard you sigh
Floating in between
where our worlds collide

are you afriad to die?

scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
and it scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
-Muse


Some nights alone he thinks of her.
And some nights alone..
..she thinks of him.
Some nights these thoughts occur at the same moment.
And Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
-Shopgirl






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I'm going to see Blindside in Dallas this weekend to take some pictures.... I can't wait.
I'll post them soon!